“Friends-how many of us have them"
"Friends-ones we can depend on"
"Friends-ones we can depend on"
"Friends-how many of us have them"
"True friends show you more than you can see"
"But some people leave you on your knees"
"With friends like that you don't need enemies"
.......................Ole Skool, Whodini........................
My PP in the House, so much has gone on since our last affair. Initially, when I took finger to keyboard, I was going to let you in on some more Busta dirt. However, I just could not seem to focus on their tired asses. Every time I tried to begin, Whodini’s song just kept bumping in my head. Then it hit me....I must have some unfinished business I need to tap on. Now you may not want to stay during this, because it is quite serious. But, I gotta get it off my 34B's before I can move on. So here we go now, come on................
Remember that old quote of, “People come into your life for a reason and/or sometimes a season?” Does that phrase have any credibility? Well, some goings-ons in my life during these last few years and particularly these last few weeks, have led me to believe that there actually may be some truth to it. As a matter of fact, quite a bit of truth. Have you ever all of a sudden looked up and your friends are not there for you? And, when you really think about it, you realize not only are they not there for you, but they HAVE NOT BEEN there for you in a LONG ASS TIME? Yeah, me too. To be honest, I don't even think you are conscious of their lack of support. Chile, I know my black ass was straight up fukn clueless. I had no idea that my girl was not my fukn girl. It did not even register to me that my support had been coming from an associate and NOT from my so-called ACB, Ace Coon Boon. Shidd, I just kept chatting in the middle of my chaos like, "Hey girl, wassup?" Not EVEN once aware of the fact that I was talking to her while I'm going thru some ish BY MYSELF which I had asked her to help me with. I was like, "WTF?!!!" I had to stop and ask myself, "What is really going on?" After the anger subsided, I realized that I was actually hurt not mad, not pissed, not angry, not even fukn perturbed, but HURT….and hurt like a motha fuka. Now you tell me, "Doesn't this mean someone's season is over?"
**NOTE TO SELF: “It’s so Sard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday”…Boys to Men made it popular, but honeybabychile, Cooley High made IT!” Though saying goodbye may be hard, if someone does not have yo back, sista sledge, then you needs ta beat it...Move on!! Now, I am aware it can be very hard to say goodbye to someone who you have been saying hello to for the last 10+ years or so. Time is what makes it hard. But, girlfriend, if lately, the time well spent ain’t time well spent, fuk’em!
Let me try and sum it up….Y’all know I got a baby in college and consequently, in my pockets, right? So, erry chance I get, my ass has been trying my best to outrun this dayum recession!! This is so the baby can outrun the student loan folks. I tell you the truth!! Every time I get one step forward, I look up and G Dubya got me effed up for the next twenty!! How in the world did this ignant ass doofus throw us back in The Stone Ages? Lawd Ham Friggin Mercy!! G Dubya’s backlash is going to follow this country for ya-ears. Our man, Obama, know he got his work cut out for him....all because of that retarded motha fuka. Shouldn't his mama have gotten him tested or something? DAYUM!!
Anywho, while outrunning the recession, I decided if I could not increase my assets, then I should try and decrease my liabilities. So, I called my girl to help me run. LITERALLY. I was like, “Girl, I gots ta move again! Can you help me pack?” That child gave me 21 problems, 72 reasons under the sun, and one shot of how she was going to pick yo momma up from the hospital in Jersey by way of Pennsylvania thru Virginia before stopping at yo sister’s husband’s cousin’s house of why she could not make it. I was like, “Ohnodisbeeyotchdidn’t!!” Honestly, no, I didn’t. Well, not in the beginning, I didn’t. I was like, “Oh, ok, girl. I will talk to you later.” Then, just as I was packing all this ish up.....a fukn box fell on my foot and I had a g-dayum epiphany!! She can't NEVER do ish! This motha fukr ALWAYS got a sad round-da-way story of why she can't have a biatch back. Chile, that big toe started to swell and THAT is when the, “Ohnodisbeeyotchdidn’t!!” came out.
Ok, not only was she not coming to help me pack THIS time, she AIN'T never helped me pack that time, unpack the other time, or had ANY TIME for anything ELSE in the last 3+ years of me being here!! Hell, I can even count on one hand, how many g-dayum times she has even BEEN TO my house. All this ish started to play back in my head as my fukn foot swole up. I started replaying how one time she actually had the fukn nerve to tell me, “Naw, girl, I will come over after you unpack.”….....or how she KNEW someone was going to try to play me and she did NOT even tell me until AFTER I figured the ish out MYSELF after the motha fukn fact (Boy, my blood is boiling on 10 now that I am playing THAT bullshyt back!)…....or how about how this guy I used to date told me some ish that I told her? I’m like, “How you find this out?” He goes, “Oh, yo girl told me. She kinda two-faced don’t you think?” Now, just as I was about to tap-dat-ass about him calling her two-faced....BOO YOW!!....I realized she WAS two-faced and she was fukn two-faced with ME!! WTF???……and, there is more, but I need to rap this sermon up, so last but MOST DEF not least, how about every once and again she will call me to tell me she did something I asked her to do with me but with someone else? Now that may sound like a beeyotch whining and I will admit it is. But DO NOT call me and gloat about how great of a time you had doing something I asked you to do with me! Like I said, I ain’t really tripping bout dat, I ain't no fukn carpet muncher. I am Strickly Dickly over here fa sho, fa sho!! HOWEVER, you know how sistas need each other. Sometimes you just need your homegirls to get you out the house to get your mind off stuff, grab a drank, walk with you. NOT!! Finally, I just stopped asking. I didn't want to ask, didn't want to be asked, and just flat out didn't want to go no fukn where with her no g-dayum more. No drama, just NO. I wish a motha fukr WOULD!! And, like I said, it would not be so bad if this heffa didn’t NEVER NOT AIN'T NEVA do ANYTHING I ask her, entertainment or otherwise. DAYUM!
Party People, if you really know me, I mean REALLY KNOW me, you know I don’t ask nobody for ish. It is very rare that I am down, because I AM a bad biatch. That is not my ego talking, that is me not having any other fukn alternative. There IS no one to call. I HAVE to BE a BAD BIATCH! Failure is not an option. It NEVER has been. So, if I am down, you prolly won’t know about it, because I am quiet when I'm trying to figure out how to hit my come-up. BUT, Gee Dubya fukn dayum!! The G-Man got this biatch’s thongs over here in a slang!! Dayum near every come-up require a beeyotch to go down first. Shidddd!! Hell, if I don’t watch it, the next stop for me may very dayum well be Horny Island or Cicer-Hoe. What? I ain't tripping! I will do anything to keep MY BABY off the pole!! If it is by ME getting on the pole or hoe stroll on any given Sunday, so fukn be it. I will take care of that little Bambi eyed crumb-snatcher by any means necessary! Bump dat! That is my love and my heart right there walking around outside my body. Sh*t Yea! Homie, don’t play that ish! Ok, sorry bout dat, I ain't had to hit the pole or stroll YET.....but you know how I feels bout dat baby….and yes, I know……I got all off track. Now back to the problem at hand…if you supposed to be my dang gone girl, then you know before I ask anybody for anything, I will figure the ish out somehow or some way. SO, when I can’t figure the ish out and I ask yo black ass for help, guess what? BIATCH, I need HELP!!
Which brings us back to Whodini, “Friends-how many of us have them? Friends-ones we can depend on. Friends-how many of us have them?”
And for me, there seems to be one less than I thought. I ain’t madatcha at all, but DAYUM!!
**Note: Like Jay say, “You Lost One.” Nevertheless, I ended up actually rediscovering an old one from way back. I didn’t even know how much I missed her until she reappeared. That child is still “a pit bull in a skirt.” She has taught me that no matter what happens, you can still call home, even if you can’t make it home. And remember that associate I spoke of? She became the friend I didn’t even know I had and I would not trade her for all the Irish liquor and Italian pasta in the world. And, oh yeah, before I forget, I also gained another unlikely source of friendship, from one who used to reside in a ball under my heart. And, guess what? In her newfound role of sista-hood, she still does. BUT, her friendship now resides MORE CLOSELY than under my heart. It is IN my heart too. Can you believe dat?
Isn't it funny how a tree grows in Brooklyn and every so often, so does the best friendships? Oh well, I guess the changing seasons help. You know what they say……"If you don't know, now you know"....Biggie Smalls, Brooklyn's Favorite Son." Brooklyn’s Finest is in da house now, y'all! Fa Sho, Fa Sho!
In parting, I wish you love, peace and SOUUULLLLLLL!!!
1 love, 2 fingers and 3 Kisses...I'm OUT!!
