Growing up can be a pain.
You're not a man until you've come of age.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
New Edition
~with Johnny Gill singing the HELL out of that opening line!~
Ok, my party people in the house, I don't have a fancy title or fantabolous opening for this little slice of life, because I literally want to get right to the point. So here we go now, come on........
Recently, I ran into a guy that has been "around" my life for the last 25 years or so. He seems to be as cool now as he has always been. For the time being, his name will be "Childhood Friend." We hung out tonight with my niece, who by the way, is seriously growing into my ABC, Ace Boon Coon. Her ass is flipping-flapping hilarious!!! Much love to her!! Anywho.....one night while kicking it in my hood, I started to see CF in a totally different light as we sat back and recalled our "hood stories" and good times. And, Chirl, you talk about gut-busting laugh off!! It was completely out of control. I have not laughed this hard and long in a million, zillion years. I will say one thing though: IT FELT JAM GOOD!
To give you a little of His-Story from my point....he is just a cute, funny, easy-going, guy - plain and simple. Now mind you, those traits may not be one and the same when you start dating someone.
Sidenote PSA: You know sometimes all it takes is one good shot of nookie or torpedo and before you can scream OH GOD, you done nuked and torpedoed the WHOLE JOINT. *sigh*smdh* But, in this case, just for argument's sake, let's just live on "Fantasy Island" with Tattoo's little "da plane, da plane, miniature, shawty lispily split lip inclined tail."
OK, back to our regularly scheduled program......and, boys and girls, those of you who been with me for a while know the REAL DEAL and THE REAL DRILL. Had this been a bonafide real effing emergency, I would have exited stage left IM-MEED-JUT-LEE and you woulda been on your own, pimp. In any, case....since it wasn't, carry on, shall we? Yes, let's..............
It was sooooo easy talking to him. I literally laughed until I cried...and right in the middle of damn near peeing my pants, I realized this is a GROWN ASS MAN and a fukn attractive one AT THAT. I'm like, "Shut the front door!!! How did I miss this? And wait.....was that a tinkle or a tingle I felt down there?" Yeah, ish was straight bananas!!
Now, when I look back on it, I think I can kinda pinpoint how I missed it. First of all, he is like, about 8 years younger than me and used to run with that same ABC Niecey's crew. I mean, I have always seem him around, but he was like one of the "little fellas" in the neighborhood who had a crush on me. But that night, I mean like DAT NIGHT that Little Man perspective sho and the hell flew right out the back porch window before I knew It. I literally went, "WTF??" Nam Myoho Renge Kyo....so you tryna help Ike, huh? Huh, you think you need to help IKE? WTF? Ike don't need no help. NO, IKE, don't!! I'll eat the cake.....Whoa wait! Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to eat the Birthday Cake and it's not even my birthday...and he tryna put his name on it.....Chris "Cuckoo" Brown and Trashy-anna Tramp.
On the real, when in the hayell did this little shawty from da hood with the cute little crush become this intelligent, cool ass, chill ass, adorable ass, GAM (Grown Ass MAN!!) that could get my knickers to thinking about getting knocked? Hell, I don't know if it was that Patron hit me, but next think I know I started tweaking and was like, "WOWSA. Down BETTY!" Honestly? I mean, could I REALLY...."Blame it on Patron, Got you in the zone....Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol. Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol....Jamie Foxx. Honestly? HELL NO, I couldn't. My Chester-Chester Child Molester has ALWAYS thought he was a cutie pie SUBCONSCIOUSLY. (And YES, I Plead da FIF! Ain't no statue of limitations on repressed Chester memories and sh*t AND an old broad sho ain't tryna be twilighting in Cell Block 2 in my golden years.) I always knew he was there, but he was JUST A KID to me, a cute one but STILL just a kid. And NEVER have I let the fact I thought he was a little cutie pie bubble to the top like my Betty was trying to bubble TONIGHT. When Betty started clapping, I KNEW I could not even pretend no more. It was confirmed. This was a full-fledge 100% red-blooded, MAN.
Sidenote PSA: You know sometimes all it takes is one good shot of nookie or torpedo and before you can scream OH GOD, you done nuked and torpedoed the WHOLE JOINT. *sigh*smdh* But, in this case, just for argument's sake, let's just live on "Fantasy Island" with Tattoo's little "da plane, da plane, miniature, shawty lispily split lip inclined tail."
OK, back to our regularly scheduled program......and, boys and girls, those of you who been with me for a while know the REAL DEAL and THE REAL DRILL. Had this been a bonafide real effing emergency, I would have exited stage left IM-MEED-JUT-LEE and you woulda been on your own, pimp. In any, case....since it wasn't, carry on, shall we? Yes, let's..............
It was sooooo easy talking to him. I literally laughed until I cried...and right in the middle of damn near peeing my pants, I realized this is a GROWN ASS MAN and a fukn attractive one AT THAT. I'm like, "Shut the front door!!! How did I miss this? And wait.....was that a tinkle or a tingle I felt down there?" Yeah, ish was straight bananas!!
Now, when I look back on it, I think I can kinda pinpoint how I missed it. First of all, he is like, about 8 years younger than me and used to run with that same ABC Niecey's crew. I mean, I have always seem him around, but he was like one of the "little fellas" in the neighborhood who had a crush on me. But that night, I mean like DAT NIGHT that Little Man perspective sho and the hell flew right out the back porch window before I knew It. I literally went, "WTF??" Nam Myoho Renge Kyo....so you tryna help Ike, huh? Huh, you think you need to help IKE? WTF? Ike don't need no help. NO, IKE, don't!! I'll eat the cake.....Whoa wait! Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to eat the Birthday Cake and it's not even my birthday...and he tryna put his name on it.....Chris "Cuckoo" Brown and Trashy-anna Tramp.
On the real, when in the hayell did this little shawty from da hood with the cute little crush become this intelligent, cool ass, chill ass, adorable ass, GAM (Grown Ass MAN!!) that could get my knickers to thinking about getting knocked? Hell, I don't know if it was that Patron hit me, but next think I know I started tweaking and was like, "WOWSA. Down BETTY!" Honestly? I mean, could I REALLY...."Blame it on Patron, Got you in the zone....Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol. Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol....Jamie Foxx. Honestly? HELL NO, I couldn't. My Chester-Chester Child Molester has ALWAYS thought he was a cutie pie SUBCONSCIOUSLY. (And YES, I Plead da FIF! Ain't no statue of limitations on repressed Chester memories and sh*t AND an old broad sho ain't tryna be twilighting in Cell Block 2 in my golden years.) I always knew he was there, but he was JUST A KID to me, a cute one but STILL just a kid. And NEVER have I let the fact I thought he was a little cutie pie bubble to the top like my Betty was trying to bubble TONIGHT. When Betty started clapping, I KNEW I could not even pretend no more. It was confirmed. This was a full-fledge 100% red-blooded, MAN.
Soooo....let's just wrap this sermon up and get to the money question of the day, "Is it appropriate to date someone who you literally watched grow from a boy to a man....even though you weren't but much of a girl yourself while you watched him do it?"
I'm just saying.....15 and 22 ain't jack crap when it becomes 40 and 33....WORD.
And just so you know, party people in the house......even a ish stalker like me needs some help wiping her OWN tail some of the time.....I'm just saying....NO, FOR REAL: I AM JUST SAYING: HELP A SISTA OUT. DAMN. I got a few dilemmas and sh*t. SHEESH!
And, there ya go........as always.............
In Parting, I wish you love, peace and SOUUULLLLLLL!!!
1 love, 2 fingers and 3 Kisses...I'm OUT!!
I'm just saying.....15 and 22 ain't jack crap when it becomes 40 and 33....WORD.
And just so you know, party people in the house......even a ish stalker like me needs some help wiping her OWN tail some of the time.....I'm just saying....NO, FOR REAL: I AM JUST SAYING: HELP A SISTA OUT. DAMN. I got a few dilemmas and sh*t. SHEESH!
And, there ya go........as always.............
In Parting, I wish you love, peace and SOUUULLLLLLL!!!
1 love, 2 fingers and 3 Kisses...I'm OUT!!
