Love Don't Live Here Anymore and You Damn Sho Better Not Ask My Neighbors!

Ok, so now I'm just pure dee shame-faced.....I honestly just did the bucky fool. *sigh*smdh* But, don't think it was for no reason. This chick has been hammering on my head at all times of the day, night and WEE HOURS of the morning, like 3 FRICKING AM for the LAST TWO WEEKS! So, I just lit that 3rd floor UP!

See, I first tapped on my ceiling a couple of times, then I finally went up there and said, "Hi, I live downstairs...do you mind keeping it down just a bit?" She was like, "Cool." Then, next thing I know it started all over again! Then, this time when I tapped on the ceiling, the WHEFFA did a tap dance!! Like, a STOMP THE YARD damn tap dance like "HAHA, Bish!"  Boyyy, talk about HEEE-AWWWWT and READY TO RUMBLE! I then called the cops so they could ask her to PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN. So, why that heffa commenced to hammering AGAIN as soon as the po-po turned that corner? 

"I sat in that chair and sat in that chair and likes ta rot!!"....listening to this hammering and sh*t falling down on my head and TRYING my BESTEST to keep Miss Bee BEE-HAVED. Then, a red cloud of hell got in me and next thing I know, I was tying my head scarf on (you know it is ON AND POPPING when a black woman put her head scarf on!) and running up the stairs in my sock feet. I went up there and bammed on the door like ME was the PO-LICE and put some stank on it too, as Ike Turner say. (Lord! I think I put a little hole in her door! *o* I really had every intention of just being stern and firm with my words. But, I just lost it. #whew!)

Needless to say, she CRACKED the door (wouldn't you? -_-) and then I just let it rip...smdh....."WTF is wrong with you??! Have you lost your everlasting rabbit ass DAMN mind?!! I KNOW you hear me bamming on this XXXXX ceiling!!  Other damn folks have to work in the morning! I'm sick of your XXXX XXXX hammering on my XXXXXX head! You stupid XXXXX cow!" Yep, I sure did...LOUD, GHETTO AND COUNTRY AS HELL....*SIGH!* I feel soooo bad!! I'm entirely too old to be doing the fool like that (And, boys and girls, do NOT try this at home...it is entirely too DANGEROUS too to be doing something like that, ESPECIALLY here in the Chi. That is on the REAL.)

Well, the hammering stopped, of course (MR. -if u want something done u gotta do it your-damn-self!- POLICE MAN! *), but, BOYYYYY, I KNOW I am going to be the talk of the laundry room TO-MOR-ROW! I'm going to be walking with my head down for weeks. I am also positive my mommy is turning over in her grave right now because she was such a lady and she did NOT raise me to act like that....but my Papi is going, "That's DADDY'S BABY right there!!" *giggling a lil bit but STILL shame as hell and with a headache that will make you pat yo weave, baby*....>_<

Childhood Friends..........Are they still appropriate now?

Growing up can be a pain.

You're not a man until you've come of age.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

New Edition

~with Johnny Gill singing the HELL out of that opening line!~

Ok, my party people in the house, I don't have a fancy title or fantabolous opening for this little slice of life, because I literally want to get right to the point. So here we go now, come on........

Recently, I ran into a guy that has been "around" my life for the last 25 years or so. He seems to be as cool now as he has always been. For the time being, his name will be "Childhood Friend." We hung out tonight with my niece, who by the way, is seriously growing into my ABC, Ace Boon Coon. Her ass is flipping-flapping hilarious!!! Much love to her!! Anywho.....one night while kicking it in my hood, I started to see CF in a totally different light as we sat back and recalled our "hood stories" and good times. And, Chirl, you talk about gut-busting laugh off!! It was completely out of control. I have not laughed this hard and long in a million, zillion years. I will say one thing though: IT FELT JAM GOOD!

To give you a little of His-Story from my point....he is just a cute, funny, easy-going, guy - plain and simple. Now mind you, those traits may not be one and the same when you start dating someone.

Sidenote PSA: You know sometimes all it takes is one good shot of nookie or torpedo and before you can scream OH GOD, you done nuked and torpedoed the WHOLE JOINT. *sigh*smdh* But, in this case, just for argument's sake, let's just live on "Fantasy Island"  with Tattoo's little "da plane, da plane, miniature, shawty lispily split lip inclined tail."

OK, back to our regularly scheduled program......and, boys and girls, those of you who been with me for a while know the REAL DEAL and THE REAL DRILL. Had this been a bonafide real effing emergency, I would have exited stage left IM-MEED-JUT-LEE and  you woulda been on your own, pimp.  In any, case....since it wasn't, carry on, shall we? Yes, let's..............

It was sooooo easy talking to him. I literally laughed until I cried...and right in the middle of damn near peeing my pants, I realized this is a GROWN ASS MAN and a fukn attractive one AT THAT. I'm like, "Shut the front door!!! How did I miss this? And wait.....was that a tinkle or a tingle I felt down there?" Yeah, ish was straight bananas!!

Now, when I look back on it, I think I can kinda pinpoint how I missed it. First of all, he is like, about 8 years younger than me and used to run with that same ABC Niecey's crew. I mean, I have always seem him around, but he was like one of the "little fellas" in the neighborhood who had a crush on me. But that night, I mean like DAT NIGHT that Little Man perspective sho and the hell flew right out the back porch window before I knew It. I literally went, "WTF??"  Nam Myoho Renge Kyo....so you tryna help Ike, huh? Huh, you think you need to help IKE? WTF? Ike don't need no help. NO, IKE, don't!! I'll eat the cake.....Whoa wait! Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to eat the Birthday Cake and it's not even my birthday...and he tryna put his name on it.....Chris "Cuckoo" Brown and Trashy-anna Tramp.

On the real, when in the hayell did this little shawty from da hood with the cute little crush become this intelligent, cool ass, chill ass, adorable ass, GAM (Grown Ass MAN!!) that could get my knickers to thinking about getting knocked? Hell, I don't know if it was that Patron hit me, but next think I know I started tweaking and was like, "WOWSA. Down BETTY!"  Honestly? I mean, could I REALLY...."Blame it on Patron, Got you in the zone....Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol. Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol....Jamie Foxx. Honestly? HELL NO, I couldn't. My Chester-Chester Child Molester has ALWAYS thought he was a cutie pie SUBCONSCIOUSLY. (And YES, I Plead da FIF! Ain't no statue of limitations on repressed Chester memories and sh*t AND an old broad sho ain't tryna be  twilighting in Cell Block 2 in my golden years.) I always knew he was there, but he was JUST A KID to me, a cute  one but STILL just a kid. And NEVER have I let the fact I thought he was a little cutie pie bubble to the top like my Betty was trying to bubble TONIGHT. When Betty started clapping, I KNEW I could not even pretend no more. It was confirmed. This was a full-fledge 100% red-blooded, MAN.

Soooo....let's just wrap this sermon up and get to the money question of the day, "Is it appropriate to date someone who you literally watched grow from a boy to a man....even though you weren't but much of a girl yourself while you watched him do it?"

I'm just saying.....15 and 22 ain't jack crap when it becomes 40 and 33....WORD.

And just so you know, party people in  the house......even a ish stalker like me needs some help wiping her OWN tail some of the time.....I'm just saying....NO, FOR REAL: I AM JUST SAYING: HELP A SISTA OUT. DAMN. I got a few dilemmas and sh*t. SHEESH!

And, there ya go........as always.............
In Parting, I wish you love, peace and SOUUULLLLLLL!!!
1 love, 2 fingers and 3 Kisses...I'm OUT!!